"Thanks, he was an amazing person and I know ill see him again in time. got a lot of life to live first though"

 

This was the post that triggered me to write this blog. One of the beloved members of my fraternity, Tim Nelson (left), wrote this about his brother (right) whose life, unfortunately, came to a demise because of cancer.

I can see why people turn to religion. And in all honesty, I would love to believe that there is a higher being, a defining purpose for everything. But I have simply had way too many unfortunate events occur in my lifetime for me to be able to believe that.

I have always been a realist. After I stopped believing  in fairy-tails, santa, and the easter bunny, I questioned God's existence. But who was I? To go against the word of my own mother, of all of the adults I had ever encountered that I've looked up to?

When I started to realize that adults made mistakes too, I started not to trust their opinions. Doing my own research on the subject. I came to a conclusion; there is no God. At least not one that we are capable of having evidence to prove evident.

There are way too many "he said she said" factors that weigh into this. But one thing I have come to learn through out my years is not to believe everything you hear or read. Who's to say the bible is not just a fairy tale that was written down? Passed down through generations, translated over and over again. It's contents are bound to be distorted even IF they were true, they wouldn't even be accurate.

I do not in any way believe being religious should be viewed negatively. After all, religion gives people morals, values, things to follow. People who are lost find solace in religion.

And maybe that's what it's original purpose was for? For people who cannot seem to find their own way and need to be lead, religion is perfect for those people.

Religion gives people comfort when they are grieving, people like to believe their loved ones are going on to a better place and that there is a reason for everything. But you can't tell me every person is going to heaven. You can't tell me, there is a reason that five year old got raped. You can't tell me there is a reason she was stabbed 46 times and chopped into bits. You cannot convince me there is a reason for that.

And who's to say this "heaven" actually exists? Faith? Faith is not a sufficient enough reason for me. I have been up there, I've flown through those very clouds. As much as I would like to believe there is someone waiting there for me with pearly gates and a promise of happiness, I am a realist, there is no one out there. Just hope that there is something beyond. But what if there's not? What if everything doesn't happen for a reason?

When something bad happens to a bad person, it is coincidence. Bad things happen to everyone. They tell you to be good and you will be rewarded in heaven. What heaven, where is this heaven? If I had proof, ANY type of TANGIBLE proof, I would love to believe it. There is no one on this earth that wants more to believe that there is a reason for everything. That there is a reason my father raped my mother. That there is a reason I will never meet him. That there is a reason I had to grow up with barely enough to eat because of him. That there is a reason my ex boyfriend killed himself at nineteen. If there is a God, and there is a reason, I am waiting. Until then...